Have you thought about what your day-to-day lifewill be like? Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. Another call revealed him sitting at home, eating a sandwich, and checking on his World of Warcraft real quick. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a . Guess who is going to be taking care of the baby all night through? When I was in labor with my first son, we had to drive through a snow storm to get to the hospital. -One Funny Motha, While in labor with a placental abruption at 34 weeks, my husband says I think you should calm down. I could even understand maybe a beer or glass of wine a night (which I still think every night is pushing it) BUT 5+ a nightdo you think that is normal behavior? When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. Can I Use Soju Instead Of Sake; Kentucky Sheriff Vehicle Inspection Fayette County The dream doesn't end, and that's when I start to be afraid. It might have been when he was relaying the story about how tired he was and how the day seemed to drag on forever. I was only at the hospital for two hours before she arrived. All. Emergency delivery: What to do when the baby's coming - right now My husband went home the next day and brought me some things, namely a mens xl t-shirt that said Wanna Play Doctor? on it. Im shaking because of the epidural so I get no sleep, and hes snoring and well fed. I am sure you are aware there are going to be a lot of long nights that you are not going to want your DH sleeping off his buzz. It was winter so between contractions I had to warm up the car and take my bags out. While I was in labor, sweating like a pig and hooked up to every wire imaginable with waaaay too many things up my vag, he sat back in a chair and said wow, Im really comfortable in this chair. Ummm Im so glad for you!! To help you more to understand, Is my husband an alcoholic?, listed below are also some pointers on how to live with an alcoholic husband. Last week, I made a simple request on the Mommy Shorts fanpage. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with your spouse can help both of you cope with the emotional effects of recovering from addiction. And spell it out that being there means being sober for the next few weeks, (and really after the baby comes). 12 Natural Ways to Induce Labor - Baby Chick And please feel free to add your husbands own egregious efforts below. men are so egomaniacal in general. While having my first son, I tore from one end to the other. It's just that the cumulative effect of 4-5 drinks from 5pm until 10 or 11 makes me worry. These are hilarious! I was in labor (induced) for 48 hours while my husband was uncomfortable in his chair and feeling nauseous from a sandwich he ate. Am I in Labor? 10 Moms Share How They Knew It Was 'Time' - CafeMom.com She was even . 9 Signs Labor Is Near: How to Tell Your Baby Will Come Soon - Parents Good grief you have issues. Also I am not a screamer, and when the contractions were fierce like that, I would just lay on my side, tightly gripping the bed rail, sometimes whimpering quietly as I waited for it to pass. KARE 11 Investigates: Jailed, innocent, in labor - and shackled He told me later he was definitely buzzed but me waking him up was the most sobering thing ever. What on earth makes you think anyone wants your man? Mum had gone in to hospital and he was working. I was progressing very rapidly and I was in great pain. The hospital was an easy drive. Im sure there are a ton of great husbands/partners out there. Why We Chose NOT to Induce Labor - thehumbledhomemaker.com And then figured hed take care of some business while he was on the line. I think there should be another thread about crap husands pull after the baby is born. I was sleeping when suddenly cramped stood up and my water broke. This isnt a birth story, but rather sadder. Hours later on July 28, Emily Jacobs, a 28-year-old . He ran away because he said he had business at work he had to attend to. To his credit, he sprung out of bed, I rang my best friend and she came to look after Maddie and Sam. I wanted him to leave so I could have peace! Into the car it went. Needless to say..while gasping for breath, I told him to shut up. I push for over two hours and my daughter was born at 6:55 am. Hopefully our midwife keeps him in line. I said the baby is coming now. My husband fell asleep while I was in labor and was in such a deep sleep, the anesthesiologist had to maneuver around him in the chair in order to do the epidural. Unfortunately, the emerald fell out when I was in middle school so I bought a new one to replace it. When a child is born, act up, misbehaves, it is still our child. At the hospital after the birth of our second child, my husband asked if we could not stay at the hospital because he didnt sleep well there and it hurt his backand, apparently he won that one because we packed up and headed home, where his selective hearing allowed him to sleep through the night from that point forward. What does his choice of alchohol have to do with it? Around 2am, I heard the scraping of a badly manoeuvred BBQ onto the deck and felt my husband flop down beside me into the bed. A woman seduces her husband at Halloween party and then finds out he switched costumes with someone else. With this next one, were doing a home birth, so no monitors, but I still anticipate him being so busy talking that hes not really focused on me. We get down to the car and he gets in the passenger side! Is This New Mother Awful For Refusing To Call Her Husband When She Goes I was in labor half the night and at around 7 am I say to my hubby its time to go to the hospital. I like the suggestion that if he's buzzed, he's not invited into the delivery room, and HE has to call his folks to explain why THEY need to drive me to the hospital. The worst you could do is take the place of a professional and try to look for solutions to cure it. I find it pretty fvcked up that you are okay with him drinking a "few drinks every night" since someone else can drive you to give birth to yours and HIS own child. Judging from the two phone calls I had with Uncle B while she was in labor (one in which he was right by her side at the hospital and the other in which he was buying her a box of popsicles), Id say he didnt screw his job up nearly as bad as most of your husbands did. If you are married to an alcoholic, here are seven ways to deal with the problem. My husband laid down on the couch in the hospital room, rolled over and fell asleep. My husband took nearly two hours to have lunch with his mom at the hospital, after he had been helping me through contractions all morning. (I am not worried about a ride though because we have a ton of family and friends that could take me in a pinch.). He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. My husband was working at the lake (20 min away) and was rushing home to change and come to the hospital. (I don't think he would like that job much!). There is absolutely a possibility she'll go into labor and need him. (Hopefully it won't have to go there but if the nice and logical angle doens't work you may have to come on a little strong) IMO. Tanya Plibersek's daughter reveals she was abused by former boyfriend However, if you are determined to recover from it and stay sober, you can do it as long as you stay strong and focused. Whats worse is that his parents brought him back to the hospital drunk as a skunk. In the worst case, you would also want to avoid the situation as much as you can. He was drinking coffee, eating breakfast and taking care of the dogs because they were going to be caged up all day. Her husband waited nearby but outside the birthing room. I had some see threw jammies to wear home >.<. Not saying you aren't important to him..I'm sure you mean the world to him but having a child is a whole new/different kind of love that might just make him realize the drinking like he does needs to slow down. I told him to either put the whole call on mute, tell them his wife was in active labor, or (and I strongly encouraged this), NOT TAKE THE DAMN CALL. Mines more funny than bad: I went to the hospital 7 weeks early and had an emergency c-section because of HELLP syndrome. You'd like to get my newsletter! She had yummy ice chips and broth. I thought that was all obvious to DH but apparently I was wrong. My husband also told me at one point that hearing the doctor give me the episiotomy sounded like someone cutting raw chicken with scissors. Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. The doc said that was waaaaay too much and really unhealthy. I will never know. Legend: Wife Seduces Husband at Halloween Party but He Switched This classic, tell-tale sign of labor can appear as a big gush, or it can happen in a slow, light stream. I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. We were on our way to the hospital by 6:30am. He's in sales and always has social work meetings where drinks are served, too, which doesn't help. Yeah right. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! Nipple Stimulation. Wear sneakers. Unless yo ass is imoan. Get on the same page, then bring up how you are afraid alcohol could affect that. He finally agreed, but not until he took a shower and fixed himself breakfast! He works, he goes out with friends, and when OP asks him to be around or spend more time with her, he tells her to get her own friends. When to Go to the Hospital for Labor - Healthline: Medical information -- A pregnant doctor unexpectedly went into early labor while delivering another woman's child. We keep quiet about it, yet are both so in tune with one another, we know exactly the minute something is up. I get all the credit for being an awesome stepdad and none of the crap over what got screwed up during labor. I would also say that 5+ drinks make a person more than "buzzed." A man can metabolize 2 drinks a day. Yep, I was 8.5 cm when we checked in to the hospital). Labor Story #8: The waiting game (41 weeks / vaginal to C-section) Location: Alexandria, Va. Year: 2013. Drunk at Work: What HR Can Do About Employees Drinking on the Job - SHRM Your scenario of DH's drinking hits so close to home for me. This will enable you to stay focused and prevent you from giving in to temptation. Van Jefferson, Wife Samaria Welcome Second Baby Mid-Super Bowl - Peoplemag Tell him your concerns rationally and lovingly, and if he doesn't listen you have your answer as to the best course of action for you and your child on the day of labor and beyond. Want Mommy Shorts delivered daily or weekly to your inbox? How to Induce Labor the Right Way. If your husband is an alcoholic, the more you know about the disease, the better prepared you will be to deal with it. That's some heavy drinking. Ahh, those were the days I bet he misses me. But when he does, he is belligerant and can't stop and just a few. , Thats awesome. Thats why I wish my daughter grows up to be gay. (Dont even ask about our planning ability! For you I would give your DH a heads up if you start feeling any contractions and have him head home if they start getting regular . What else am I supposed to do?-Tina, In the delivery room, my husband went into hypoglycemic shock because he hadnt eaten in 48 hours. With our third i forgot something to wear home and baby outfits so he had to go shopping for me and lets just say men DO NOT know how to shop for women or babies!!! Ugh, Why Am I Not in Labor Yet? Slow To Start Labor Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. The. Mortifying. yep, i paint with a broad ass brush. My wife was not pleased. My doctor walked in while he was talking, looked at me still laying on the delivery bed, and told my husband he should probably take care of that later. My husband and I were so excited that we jumped right into action. 10 Ways to Deal With an Alcoholic Husband - Marriage I still give him crap about it almost four years later now. Because, he was a little bit tired. This post and the responses make me want to bash my head against a wall. Since I had to have a c-section he stayed in the hospital with me the 3 days sleeping on the couch and changed ALL the diapers. Around 10 am he announces that he has to go home because the Popeyes he ate has given him food poisoning. LOL, you sound like my wifes ex. -RealMomofNJ, Mine kicked me out of the car in the ambulance bay 9cm dilated with my bag and left me to traipse across the hospital and up two flights of stairs on my own because he didnt want to pay for hospital parking. I had to go to the hospital for a D&C with my first pregnancy as the baby stopped growing and there was no heartbeat, but I didnt miscarriage automatically. Why do you women, not tell your foolish husbands long before you give birth, what you will not tolerate from him during your birth. So, the advice here is to keep away from the situation and let things happen. I come into the living room and give her a kiss. (Nurses are usually fabulous but it is always nice to have your own personal support person). He never slept even when I did (due to pain meds, epidural didnt work) for 27 hours. With my 2nd son, he kept watching the monitor and telling me when I was having a contraction. What Red Raspberry Leaf Tea can do: Strengthen and tone the uterus. Plenty of men AND women have demanding and stressful jobs and do not need to hit the bottle to deal with it on a regular nightly basis.they remain present with their partners and families, and find non-self-destructive ways to deal with stress. The one thing that you would do at this point is go into denial mode. Now, no matter how many babies you have given birth to, you still never quite remember the feeling of going into labour until it actually happens again. Check out this video to understand how to get your alcoholic spouse into treatment: Discuss the various treatment options that are available and find the best one for him so that he can get better as soon as possible. He did later apologize. Its like, my mother went through this, and her mother before her, and, well, basically every woman who ever gave birth went through this & got over it, unless it killed em, so Im going to sit here and appear mildly concerned on the surface but secretly bemused that Im not in your position right now, and knowing, with modern medicine the way it is, that youre going to be all right soon enough, and even lord it over me eventually in the same secret way I enjoyed your suffering. Laughing gas has been widely available for laboring women in other countries, and it's finally making its way to hospitals and . All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? my husband decided that my induction, right as the contractions were taking off and I was getting three in a row with no break of even 3 seconds, was the BEST time possible to show my aunt an episode of Firefly. The only place open nearby is Popeyes. DH is not allowed to drink at all right now..my life and his unborn child are going to be in his hands when he drives me to the hospital. I was induced w/our first, and it took a while for things to kick in. Alcoholism is quite difficult to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. If that doesn't work,I have two thoughts. So not only did my husband eat an Indian take-away while I was in the throws of labour, he told me my hair looked a mess. I tell her I need to go home. About a month ago I asked him not to drink until after LO was here because I know it can get to the point that he should not be driving. Bud Grace And Frankie Weight Gain . And when they do, take them to the professional instead of trying to make things right on your own. Well, watched is a bit strong, but it was on the entire time! My husband got into an argument with a nurse and almost got himself kicked out of the hospital. husband drunk when i went into labor Home; FAQ; Foto; Contact "She went into labour.": she started giving birth (generally means her waters broke or she otherwise started experiencing labour pains) we're focusing on the moment the labour started (moment in time, not duration) "She was in labour for 3 hours.": we're focusing on the length of the labour (duration, not moment in time) Published: May. He went inside to chat with the guy who worked there while buying cigarettes and chips before finally coming out to pump the gas. So this guy was supposed to NOT eat. I dont know why I remember things like that. After 38 hrs of labor, My hubby looked at me, with this serious look on his face, while Im pushing our daughters head out, and saidwell that was easy, can we do it again? (It meaning have another baby)i told him sure, but you can carry it this time!, After I had a surgery on my left breast, my husband asked what he would were to an event! We have the ability to maintain our rage and hide it away for just the right amount of time so it can be released with maximum effect at precisely the right time. husband drunk when i went into labor. He told the registering nurse, my room nurse, my midwife, my doula, ANYONE who had ears our WHOLE life story. He went home to sleep in our bed so he could get some rest. You would really benefit from an Al-Anon meeting or two. (this part was planned, hospital rule, only 2 in the delivery room besides the mom- so her mom and I attended) I was mentally exhausted by the time the baby was born at 6:44 pm. So, they may play the trick on you. When my contractions were less than 2mins apart, I told my husband we needed to leave. My husband was asleep in the chair and when they woke him up, he walked over to me and said, My foot hurts. REALLY? Medicated: Yes. That's awesome! Dont come to me saying look what your child did. It is always our child. He drinks every night. I beleive that 4th pregnancy has got to be my last. So, that's the fvcked up part. he replied no it didnt and rolled over to try and go back to sleep. I called him to come home and he suggested id feel better walking up and down the street. My husband was behind me holding me up while I squatted when a nurse looked at him funny and said You dont look so hot. At first he acted like I was over reacting but later apologized and agreed with me. She gives me her phone number . I laughed out loud at several of these and realized that men just want to minimize the birthing. that actually is true, no one under a certain age . I was prepped for emergency c-section and we had friends in boats out looking for him in the bay. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward, they might understand the intensity of the issue and will look for a solution. It really hurts. I replied, What the fuck is wrong with you? Youve got to be kidding me?! I have always gone into labor in the evening so DH was home with me and it was my water breaking that made me go in. I was induced at 7pm, and about 1am my husband decided to go home and get some sleep (I hadnt slept at all either!) The only way to stop this from happening is to let your husband know that you wont tolerate any unacceptable behavior of theirs under any circumstances. When one starts living with a functioning alcoholic husband, they try to take control of situations, as mentioned above, and behave as a counselor. While have contractions at home with my 1st child ( it was around 6pm and my contractions were coming every 5min) my husband called up to me from down stairs (I was on all 4s at this point) asking if I was hungry and he was going to order an Indian take-away. We went for a lot of walks. So I went about my day normally and really thought something was going on around 3pm. If you want to read all 237 responses (and YOU DO), click here. Hubby was very excited and solicitous and kept asking how I was and what did I need. 26 years of marriage has taught me to make sure she is comfortable and has what she needs first and to be honest about what I need. I gave birth in a Cambodian hospital that, well lets say was set up with top notch 1950s style equipment. Were going to pop some bottles the celebrate the twins arrival. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! I asked for all the ridiculous stuff your husbands pulled while you were in labor. However, you can convince them to set certain limits to how much they should be drinking. Yesterday, my husband got drunk at his family's cookout. My partner and I have not fought at all during our relationship, nor has he given me cause to rage. I thought he was bad, but now I see he was just average. The tank was on empty so we stopped at the gas station. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a cup of coffee from the bodega across the street. I remember thinking . The following morning,he woke up very early and went to work! Dad learned something very important about the fathers role in childbirth that day. 5. As if I wasnt even there, In front of them. We got to the hospital at 5 pm. Even if this method doesn't work, it's a great way to relieve stress and keep your body strong for the . My hubby is a talker, too. You should also try to increase your intake of healthy food and exercise regularly, as this will help you stay healthy both physically and mentally. I think your husband should be able to handle 3-5 weeks of not drinking in exchange for a healthy baby and wife. He is trying to lose some weight before the LO gets here. So here I am in the passenger seat, in labor, trying (graciously, mind you) to keep my moaning down so he can make this call. If men only knew how much pain and exhaustion really goes into labor. He didn't drink for the majority of my pregnancy, but then went out to a work function and came home wasted (he was driven home by a coworker). AITA for telling my husband I won't be calling him when I go into While driving my manic husband was trying to count off 4 count breaths. Get real, people. I'm all about unwinding with some drinks and depends on if its hard drinks or just 5 beers. So there are nights of going to bed and retreating to our own sides of the bed. What would you do? Money was scarce. You are not going to want to have this conversation, but you have to. I was about 100 years pregnant and ready to pop. His response was, OOPS! Baby #1 I was told if my water broke it could be dangerous (I had too much) but i was reassured 80% of womens do not break. The only challenge that arises at that moment is neither your husband needs your help at that very moment nor youre a professional counselor. Yes, by all means continue defending your drunk husband because he's dumb and he has to drink because of his job. This message, when put right, will force them to be in their best mood despite being overly drunk. )My husband was engrossed by the Daytona 500. 3. Every birthday growing up I heard about the stupid thing my Dad did when I was born. Woman Wonders If She's Wrong For Not Telling Husband She Went Into Someone who drinks 5 drinks a night to "unwind" after work and is defending that decision in the face of being incapacitated for their pregnant wife has a drinking problem. OP is due very soon with her 4th child - her second with her husband - and he's rarely at home. Yeah, you know, cause he was the one up since 5 am working on pushing a 10 pound baby out of his body. All I am saying is that it will probably work itself out in the end. I explained that his drinking like this gives me anxiety and I want our little baby brought into a happy, stress free world. He replied that he didnt feel so well. Going into labor when hospital is an hour away? The Bump My nurse thought he had the flu. I tell everyone this story and will never let my husband forget it! my parents always had a rule never to argue in front of me or my younger brother.. I can't believe the ridiculously stupid things being said to defend alcohol abuse here. I jumped on board. A 'habit' of drinking more than 5 drinks in a night, thinking that he 'deserves' to unwind however he wants, these are signs that he dependent on alcohol. LOL, I love that Firefly episode! -Parisa, When it was time to go to the hospital, my husband said he needed to shower and shave first. Allison Leonard/Ilona McCarty. The husband was just getting off work when we found out I needed the surgery (4 weeks early with twins). My husband made the list! He will have a beer or two these days, but knows not to get drunk during my last few weeks of pregnancy. Im 38 weeks pregnant so after a couple hours (10:30pm) I went inside with my 2 yr old, only to come back down to him still drinking and now smoking hookah with his brother, male cousins and 3 young thots that showed up. 14 Things to Do With Kids in NYC When Its Super Cold Outside, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the East Village, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the Meatpacking District, 11 Sweet Places for a Kid-Friendly Dessert Date in NYC, Harlows Hip Hop Class is the Perfect Palette Cleanser to Last Nights Debate. She arranged transportation to the hospital from our neighbors. AND, it is your child too, not just his. My brother and father arrived at around 10pm and my brother volunteers to go out and get some food for my husband. Miscarriage @ 6w3d in December 2009. http://s9.photobucket.com/albums/a71/heysupnatalie/?action=view. 08, 2020, 12:03 a.m. NEW! I had been on a contraction monitor the whole time so my husband could see how much pain I was in. My husband and the doctor talked football the entire time I was pushing. I shoot him a look and he says oh, I thought you would drive. I was 7cm dilated when they checked me in. This was compounded by the fact I went from water breaking to transition skipping the first four stages of labor ( I couldnt even talk). Ignore your husband's alcoholism and start getting used to doing things as a single parent. So, I felt it and tried to ignore it. Not during labor, but our almost 10 pound baby ended up in the NICU for low oxygen saturation. -Amy, Mine watched TV with his face pressed against the screen because he couldnt hear it over my pain noises! She just had another baby and he quit drinking 4 weeks before her due date just to be safe. She gets anxiety from any surgery, so her anxiety was high. -Angelia, My husband went downstairs to charge his phone and call his mom from the car. Second, how important is it to your husband that he be at the birth? By the way, he would never drive while drinking, he thought it would be completely fine to call an ambulance to take me to the hospital if he's drunk. My husband decided the ideal time to invite his parents into the labor & delivery room was when I was laying spread eagle, everything out for the world to see, being stitched up by the doctor after our son was born. Around 4:30 Sunday morning, I start pushing. I didn't want my husband in the delivery room - Today's Parent
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