Does your wife feel seen and heard in the relationship, or is she never in the mood because she usually feels overlooked? This could be a reason why your wife avoids sex. You definitely dont get it. Am I ugly? Isnt going to happen. On the flip side, it could be that your wife suspects you of infidelity and hence has lost her trust in you. It feels like torture just coming here and reading because it makes me want some so badly I dont know what to do. Nathan I am in exactly the same position as you. I love her to death but cant stand to be around her anymore. I asked her to consult with her doctor about her sex desire and they may prescibe hormone therapy. In most cases, Ive seen that when one partner is depressed, after a period of time, the other starts to feel depressed as well. Especially if you once had a healthy and active sex life. And for the love of god stop watching fake porn. . But, you must remember that this rejection of your sexual advances is often triggered by some underlying reasons. After everything a woman does in one day compare to what most lazy men would say. mine forgot my birthday this year (it is 2 days before his lol) and our wedding anniversary : ( I can not compete with his online game omg he plays 24-7 so I can relate to your problem with your wife choosing the phone over you thats cold. There is a disconnect, a lack of communication and a lot of arguments. But maybe if shes willing to try your weekly sex date again, she might find that once youve aroused her, the mood sails in. Sex was great and plentiful in beginning (weve been together 32yrs), but he has lost all interest and I havent had sex in years. We used lubricant but it still wasnt very effective the last time. Hey People, when a woman no longer wants sex with a man, it means she is likely not attracted to him anymore. Tried Testosterone replacement but it made me very sick and ended up in the emergency room with complications . and I feel I have been cheated. Ive got wonder if she really was just needing something to be mad at me for. I have come to that conclusion also. If you search my wife wont touch me sexually, it may be time to stop thinking about sex and start thinking about dating. This isnt one of those seasons things, she believing a lie from the devil to her, to destroy your marriage. Yes, he may have more energy then she does because he did nothing all day but insulted her and her lack of sex. In most cases, Ive seen that men dont realize and acknowledge the needs of their wives. Either something happened that made her feel that way or shes lying. But many times women holds back based on how they are treated. She has the house and I have my private place seperate from the main house. I have a TON of frustration that has built up for years. Each year for three years, she assured me she would seek help from a wholistic doctor, which never happened. But they can FORCE their partners to NOT have sex and No one seems to want to talk about that. I am a 58 year old woman. Therapy will help you identify the issues underlying the lack of sex, teach you how to communicate more effectively, give you strategies for regaining your intimacy if shes willing, and tools for coping if shes not, and offer you the boost you need to work on your relationship. Somehow I thought that would be my fix. But when I try to go to the next level. Perhaps there's a desire discrepancy between you, whether in general or just at this particular time in your lives, and you're both very aware of it. But here I sit.pissed off. 7. But I do like your advice, dont waste time with them and take whatever you can get now. So, Im on my own unless I decide to cheat. Youre guessing that your wife might have vaginal atrophy, but you dont know. Yeah Andrew me too. Talk with your husband about sexual fantasies he has or things he may want to try in the bedroom. Yes, we are accused of such, and rightly so quite often; but, no, we are sentient, thinking human beings. Prostate cancer is the #1 cancer in older men and when the prostate is removed during surgery it makes a man totally impotent no erection, no ejaculation, no orgasm plus total incontinence which means the post cancer patient needs to wear Depends diapers for the rest of his life. 90% of my enjoyment of sex is seeing her turned on an having a rip roaring time. I guess my story isnt as bad as many. Hasnt been for 15 years. A year or two is nothing. Once youre accustomed to porn, youve trained your brain to need it. Blah blah blah. But keeping an open dialogue about your mutual wants and desires can improve your sex life tremendously. Always happy to help. I have always loved sex with my hubby, but after menopause, that all changed for the worse. Wednesday, August 30, 2017 I have the same situation you describe, almost to a T. The only thing thats worse is that my husband is sneakily still interested in porn and satisfying himself when Im not around. Count your blessings mate! So, basically youre saying, My needs outweigh your life. I dont care if you die, so long as I get 3 minutes of pleasure.. Im 65, shes 70. Why would he ever have too? She says that its up to me to deal with it however I choose. I heard my uncles talk about sex like it was something from their youth that has long gone. There is one category which never seems to be covered in these kind of forums, that is where one partner is both medically unadvisable to have sex. I want to have a joyful life not just be comfortably numb. Agree Sean. I need to feel cherished, looked at and touched in a non-sexual way THEN when I feel loved and safe, I want to please my man. However if these women get divorced they have a sexual oasis spring up again between their legs because they need to find a new nest. Q: My wife, late 40s, has been experiencing early menopause for a couple of years. When a woman notices that you have an affinity for what she loves, she gets curious, thereby increasing her desire for you. I always ask if Im doing the right things and she says yes. Hes changing tooisnt capable of long walks or hikes anymore, which is still something I love to do. The less stressed she is, the more free space she has in her mind to devote to all things naughty. When theres a disconnect and communication gaps that lead to resentment, the hostility will make itself apparent in some way or the other, says Gopa. It is time to say, I am horny as hell, and I am tired of pretending I am not because I am over 50!. 5 minutes of his time now and again isnt much to ask! They seem just as happy as any other married couple. Fully. She even stopped expressing affection such as hand holding, goodbye kisses, etc. (You might want to share with her an excellent resource about responsive desire, Emily Nagoskis book Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life.). Susan!!! Im in the same situation with my overweight, lazy, 48 year old wife. Though she died quickly sex was never discussed and I can assure you my marriage was a bed of rock. Below are a few potential reasons that might explain why your wife is not interested in you sexually. If you notice your wife acting awkward or becoming extremely tense when you try to touch her, it means she is not liking the fact that you are being physical. I thought during the first couple of years of our marriage that I was imagining this but I now realize I wasnt (since he recently stated how we werent trying to procreate any longer, so why bother with sex.). Open a conversation with your wife about how she's feeling about you and the marriage, big picture, and go from there. Your Wife Seems Uncomfortable When You Initiate Foreplay. I started seeing sex workers. Between her legs the next time.4, stop watching porn if you know this makes her feel uncomfortable as we all know when men watch porn that will lead into you not being able to get it up for her because you have been watching photoshops porn and all you want is that fake lady so you go out and cheat on your wife then come home and accuse her of cheating and thats why she is not having sex with you. I dont clean enough, cook enough, keep on top of appointments, follow his assignments since youre retired now, you can do and I get assignments. Does your wife struggle with self-love? Right now Im going on over three months since shes wanted sex. I told him I heard him doing that and I told him if he ever did that again I would divorce him. Were communicating better but no changes to our sex life even though he has plenty of blue pills. We have had little to no connection with them since. She has no interest in any positions other than missionary even though I love other positions. I thank you for stating in so frank a manner every frustration that has engulfed me for over 40 years. So I explained this to her and said if she cannot work it out with me I would have to find some other way. My doctor keeps a close eye on me too. With all of that being said, I an understand your frustration. This is sad. The most affection I can show without her being irritated is spooning for a short period when were in bed Id better not move my hands to caress her! A womans lack of interest in physical intimacy can be quite an intriguing puzzle to solve. I can offer a small piece of advise. The night my son died was when my loss of interest began, in fact it vanished, period. Sure I wish I could be confident in her skin too but Im not going to let it overwhelm me. Most importantly, a couple agrees that their marriage is built on a foundation of love and respect. If the lack of interest becomes an ongoing pattern, consider any of the above potential reasons. As I explained before on seniorplanet.org, spontaneous desire just happens, while responsive desire only happens after a womans body starts getting aroused. We are starting to fight a lot and twice I heard him on the phone throwing me under the bus to someone. A woman may lose interest in sex, even in a happy marriage, if the sex does not bring her sexual pleasure. I understand your pov at a level you may not understand (sorry) or appreciate. Share your feelings with your wife openly, honestly, and vulnerably without expecting it to lead to something physical. After 35 years, I want to be with my wife more than ever, not less. The one thing she always wants when she touches me is that I come on her tits.which I love. Will: I was very disturbed to read your post. To see my wife go direct to the Phone on the first morning home and second morning home was very upsetting. . With my wife it was menopause. "Not everyone needs emotional connection for sex to be great, but in long-term relationships, the lack of connection can be a huge factor in a person's desire to have sex with their partner," psychologist Margaret Paul, Ph.D., writes at mbg. But at this point I dont think her interest in sex will ever revive, so what would your advice be? My husband is 46 gringo! I have hypertension and medications have affected my ability to get an erection. You were something new, mysterious, independently confident, self-respecting, self-motivated and unpredictable. Please keep your eyes open for signs she is interested in someone else, such as being secretive, avoiding you, or hitting the gym. But dont give up! I am sorry I stayed, but life, illness, dementia parents and a son kept me in this sexless marriage.
My Wife is Not Affectionate Anymore | The Modern Man She sleeps in the other room. How To Romantically Flirt With Your Spouse? At first when we were dating this were fine. I have been dedicated for 43 years but I also realize you need and one thing before you canOnto the other. Same exact situation here its a living hell! Make time when you are both relaxed. You are so right. // Replace PAGE_URL with your page's canonical URL variable Its like shes ashamed of her vagina. Frustrated.
Advice | Ask Damon: My wife doesn't want to have sex anymore There's nothing wrong with the lower-libido partnerthey simply just don't want sex as often as the other person. What to do about it: Make sure your wife has some time to herself to relax and feel restored. If you have gone through months or years of being patient with your wife and still arent feeling physically connected, it may be time for marital counseling. In other words, pressure makes for bad sex even when you actually end up having it, and all that pressure and bad sex might make your wife just lose interest in sex completely. What about the emotional security of being held while you sleep? Our sex life slowed, separated, and each found partners. She isnt enthusiastic about that idea. I am fine with him pleasuring himself and even using porn is fine. I feel Im too old to do anything to cause me to have to be alone. So I cheat.
4 Things to Do When Your Wife Won't Touch You - All Pro Dad Your situation is my situation ! Before I married my second wife, Vicky told me she made a terrible mistake, still loves me and wanted back. I am starting to go to prostitutes is this wrong? I feel very blessed, because my gynecologist put me on low dose hormone therapy. And he wonders why Im ill sometimes?? BUT I agree If I was an electronic game, or a bead of some kind I would get some attention.. We have had a very good sex life up until a few years ago, and she has had many good sexual adventures. If your wife is going to have any appropriate romance in her life, its going to come from you. That killed it for me. // IMPORTANT: Replace EXAMPLE with your forum shortname! Its dinner cooked and eaten together, with enjoyment on both sides. This whole situation sucks for all of us. Each time she claims to like having sex, but is just tired! Is it honestly your right to be given sex however your wife can give it? Could it be that your wife avoids intimacy and shuns the idea of making love? Zimmerman also recommends getting some time away from the kids regularly so that you can re-immerse yourselves in your identities as individuals and as a couple outside of your roles as parents. Or simplify it by bringing home her favorite wine and dining on your patio after the kids are in bed. You say you dont know if youre doing foreplay right. We have been married 38 years, and we love each other very much. I felt like she just gave me away to anyone emotionally and physically. She never apologized. I realize this rant may seem to be about my needs, but I think I deserve the right to a fulfilling life. Its a disturbing trap that you must avoid. Estrogen levels drop while a woman is transitioning into menopause, which can cause vaginal dryness and cause sex to be painful or just downright uncomfortable. I am afraid Buck is correct. I had four children from a previous marriage, I had a tubal ligation reversal so we could have a child of our own, By serious good luck, we had one. So our sex lives dwindled until around 15 years ago she realized a more regular sex life might be a good thing. It works for him. I get you have energy for everyone but me. I have 2 nephews, age 6 & 7, from my brother 13 years younger than me. Didnt mean to lump all this on You but your comment triggered something. Divorce isnt either Im not ever going to hurt her. Women wont mention it because the rejection we feel each time he puts us off, says no or does not respond to our sexual advances chips away at our self confidence and our souls as being sexually vibrant women even in our late sixties. It takes two. Most men do their deed and roll over. An endocrinologist told me he had never seen that before. Depression, anxiety, stress, and other mental health issues are all linked to lower libido, as are some antidepressants. Monica..give her satisfaction .. that is exactly what I would love to do for my wife of 30 years. Hes no longer a sexy looking man, doesnt care about trying to make himself better, I still fight to try to look really good, no matter how I feel. I miss the simple things. I almost wish I were. She NEVER asks but will tell me I can have it whenever I want. I have noticed in the last two months that most forms of affection have dissapeared. My NEW husband gets a hard on, loves me to give him oral sex but is not sexually attracted to me at all. The article itself is very weak and rehashed b.s., But the comments are priceless! Just feel I want to hide away as I know this is not normal . He feels unwanted or unappreciated. I cant stop thinking about it.