I've already put two shilling pieces in. I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! Marwood: Jesus Christ! Withnail: The thermostats! That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. Aren't you getting absurdly high? Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! Withnail and I Quotes. So here we are gonna talk about some of thebest quotes from the movie. Withnail: Withnail: The beauty of the world! Monty: Marwood: He told me that first day you came to Chelsea. Marwood: [offering Monty a glass] Hurry up, Mabs. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. Here hare here!" Bruce Robinson, Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay. Jake: There are are things in there; there's a teabag growing! Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. Well, don't. [calmly] But now he's stopped he's much better in our sex life and in our general life." Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. Marwood: What good's the side? He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! Uncle Monty: I can never touch raw meat until it's cooked. All right, Miss Blennerhassett, I'm warning you, if you do, you're fired. hide. Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. I was gonna cook onions. Danny: Jake: I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. You shouldn't treat each other so badly. Marwood: Why can't I get on television? Change down, man. Withnail: Would it be in bad form to plagiarise a toast? We're in danger, we've got to get out. You'll all suffer! Listen, I don't know what my f acquaintance did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. I wondered if you could sell us some food. Let him get his drugs out. You want me to call whatshisname and ask him about his house? I think an evening at The Crow. You love him. And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" Probably on a tenner a day, and I know what for! Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. General: Well, I don't know. Withnail & I - The Script - Tripod Withnail: It will pass. [after a phone call with his agent] is the clip Thanks! My brain's capsizing, I've gotta unfuck my brain! [reading a newspaper] Here is the clip. Danny: You lose, you gain. Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? And for once Im inclined to believe that Withnail is right. Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. Withnail: Withnail: Danny: No, man. General: I've only had a few ales. There can be no true beauty without decay. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum! We'll buy this place and have it knocked down! Well, that can't be sensible, can it? Withnail: He can eat his ****ing radish. Marwood: Now, which of you is going to be a splendid fellow and go down to the Rolls for the rest of the wine? What the fuck are you talking about? Suits me. Waitress: Monty: Here hare here. [holding him back] Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your f***ing appendix doesn't mean anything! Withnail and I Quotes Marwood: It has felt like listening to a symphony and here comes the crescendo. I expect they're dead down the drain. The carrot has mystery. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. This doesn't go down at all well. Withnail: Withnail: It's available on Be seated. Lets take a look at the following list and find out the best Withnail and I quotes. Withnail: Come on, old boy. The murder and All-Bran and rape. Danny: tags: humour, withnail-i. Change down, man. Withnail: They're throwing themselves into the road gladly! I demand to have some booze! It will die, it will die! We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Marwood: *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? I'm good looking. Your email address will not be published. I've been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. Withnail: No you can't, I can't get my boots on when they're hot. All right, get hold of it. [to Marwood] It'll happen. They don't like me being on stage. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. We've gone on holiday by mistake. [is being arrested for drunk driving] Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. Here comes another fucker! [eyes filling with tears] Withnail: Sulking up the hill. You got a rush. [Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. [seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. And the Coalman looks at him and says, "Do you think you look normal, Your Honour?" [after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. Withnail: We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now! Monty: [to the cat] you beastly little parasite how dare you, you little thug how dare you, arrgh beastly ungrateful little swine. Danny: [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. Much more of this and I'm going to apply for meals on wheels. This ain't fancy dress." [voiceover] by Anonymous: reply 16: February 3, 2021 10:58 PM: I've gone on holiday by mistake. Look at him. Withnail: I can't take aspirins without a drink. Tea Shop Proprietor: withnail and i 96119 GIFs. Trade: Phenodihydrochloride benzorex. [Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon] Marwood: Nothing that reasonable members of society demand as their rights! What makes you possibly think I've got anything for your pot? Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? You know what we should do? Bastard asked me to understudy Konstantin in The Seagull. It's society's crime, not ours. [teary-eyed] "I'm gonna pull you head off." I've told you why. Marwood: He's been fed from arsehole to beak. Find the exact Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. And I'm sitting in this bloody shack and I can't cope with Withnail. This doll is extremely dangerous. Where did you school? *Scrubbers*! I think the carrot infinitely more fascinating than the geranium. Withnail: Withnail: Stop saying that! Withnail: Marwood: (Voice-over) I could hardly piss straight with fear. Opened the oven door and it was in there looking at me. I wouldn't drink that if I was you. Monty: Grab its ring. . But old now, old. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. I really don't want you to. How come Monty owns such a horrible little shack? Easily Withnail: Marwood: Monty: Withnail: Half an hour? No fridges, no televisions, no phones. This *is* the morning. Monty: How can it be so cold in here? Listen, Monty, there's something I have to explain to you. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. Why don't I get any soup? Please explain the joke from Withnail and I : ExplainTheJoke The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. [they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark]. Withnail: Withnail: Don't threaten me with a dead fish! I'm utterly arseholed. Withnail: The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news. It's true, I crept the boards in my youth. Hello? You mustn't blame yourself. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworths, man. Got busted coming back through Heathrow. Withnail: Precisely the reason I'm smoking it. The sky's beginning to bruise, night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. I've never met him. "Here, Hare, Here" -Monty (responding to rabbit nailed to door . Withnail: You merely imagined it. I think it's time to release you from the lgumes, and transfer your talents to the meat. All right, this is the plan. Withnail: [voiceover] How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?! Tea Shop Proprietor: Withnail: (Appalled) How dare you! I was merely making an observation. There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! [cockily] If I lay 10 mils of diazepam on you, it will do something else to your brain. *Fork it*! Trying for even more advantage. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix doesn't mean anything! Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker! C*nt give him two years. [the bedroom door slowly opens and the intruder enters with a torch] Withnail: [screwing his eyes shut in terror, moaning] We mean no harm! An expert on bulls you are not! [voiceover] I must have some booze. Withnail & I is in my personal Top 5 movies of all time for re-watchablity and scathing dialogue. If you don't leave, we'll call the police. Who fucks arses? The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumour. What are we supposed to do with that? Hare. Monty: That's what you say. [he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. Throw yourself into the road, darling! Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! Withnail: Gi' me one in t' knee. Followed by yet another anecdote about his sensitive crimes in a punt with a chap called Norman who had red hair and a book of poetry stained with the butter drips from crumpets. Marwood: Withnail: Imagine the size of his balls. Withnail and I - Wikiquote The purveyor of rare herbs and prescribed chemicals is back. Sod your pheasants! I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. Headhunter to his friends. Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. We'll be back. You undo your valve and give them a dose of unadulterated child's piss and they have to give you your keys back. https://www.quotes.net/movies/withnail_and_i_quotes_14074. The Coalman had to go to Jamaica. Monty clearly has some difficulty in reading the note. I've been to drama school. [he swerves dangerously through the motorway traffic]. I hope you guys like our collection. My thumbs have gone weird! Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. I can never touch meat until it's cooked. This most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors! I demand to have some booze!. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. Withnail: How should I know where we are? Just think of it with bacon across its back. This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. You want working on, boy! He won't gore you. There must and shall be aspirin! [Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor]. Nor women neither. How dare you call me inhumane! Quotes.net. Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day And for once I'm inclined to believe that Withnail is right We are indeed, drifting into the arena of the unwell making an enemy of our own future What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that. [on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing] I need at least an hour for lunch., Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day. A little before your time. This is ridiculous. Rubbish. Well neither have I. But he's a very low-temperature spade, the Coalman. What a piece of work is a man! It's full of brilliant quotable lines: "We've gone on holiday by mistake!" "My thumbs have gone weird". London is a country coming down from its trip. He's building the prototype now. I can never touch meat until it's cooked. We forgot to bring our Wellingtons. He'd like a bit of pleading. Look at that, accident black spot! It'll happen. Policeman 1: You're not in the same boat. Marwood puts his hand on Withnail's shoulder, they've arrived at the cottage, it's cold and dark, amorously puts his hand on Marwood's arm as he peels vegetables, he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it, stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat. Look at Geoff Woade! You been away? You bloody fool, you should never mix your drinks! So, there's this judge sitting there in a cape like fucking Batman with this really rather far-out looking hat. Withnail: [reading from the paper] "In a world exclusive interview, 33-year-old shotputter Geoff Woade, who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport. Armed with this splendid script, Richard E. Grant executes a tour de force as a relentlessly angry-at-the-world unemployed actor and raging alcoholic. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. His mechanism's gone, he's had more drugs than you've had hot dinners! [picking up an apron] The carrot has mystery. Monty: All hairdressers are in the employment of the government. No, no, no, dear boy, you must leave, you must leave. Monty: Marwood: He gags and gasps, Withnail laughs hysterically and falls to the floor, then vomits on Marwood's feet, as Monty continues to recite the line from Hamlet, Marwood gets up and whispers in Withnail's ear, after coming out of a field, Withnail hasn't closed the gate properly, and a bull walks through it. These aren't accidents! Marwood: YARN | "Here hare, here." | Withnail & I (1987) | Video clips by quotes 13 million Londoners have to wake up to this. So there's this judge sitting there in the cape like f***ing Batman with this really rather far out-looking hat. I might fetch you up a rabbit. Withnail: Monty: How can we make it die? This is a court, man. How infinite in faculties! Hair are your aerials. Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. Withnail: (Ranting on a mountain) Bastards! Marwood: Come on lads, let's get home. Marwood: Isaac Parkin: [Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. Marwood: I've some extremely distressing news. Danny: If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumour was a birthday present! For reasons I can't really discuss with you. Danny: Headhunter to his friends. We'll be found dead in here next spring. Why doesn't he retire? Would you like a drink? Eat some cake. The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . What's your name, MacFuck? An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door, she still doesn't answer. Marwood: Withnail, you bastard, wake up. I think we've been in here too long. Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? How can it be so cold in here? I'm gonna be a star*! Listen, I pay you 10 percent to do that. Hare. Marwood: Danny: There can be no true beauty without decay. Very, very foolish words, man. [Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel]. Danny's a genius. We live in a land of weather forecasts and breakfasts that set in, shat on by Tories, shovelled up by Labour, and here we are, we three; perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. The older order changeth, yielding place to new. Withnail: You've got soup. Here grows the plant Assidos, which, when worn by any one, protects him from the evil spirit, forcing it to state its business and name; consequently the foul spirits keep out of the way there. Yes, you are! I think you've been punished enough. awesome war quotes Danny: Monty: Withnail: Is Marwood in love with Withnail? Flowers are essentially tarts. Half an hour? Anyway, I loathe those Russian plays. Do you grow? The man is rich and homosexual and he tries to persuade them, but he gives up because he's convinced there's something between them. Withnail: Marwood: Black puddings are no good to us. And this one has a definite imbalance of hormone in him. Withnail: Old suit?! Always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow. When that moment comes, one's ambition ceases. Withnail: It's you he wants. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! Go with it. [to Marwood] Tea Shop Proprietor: He can eat his fucking radish. What happened to my cigar commercial? Here. Marwood: My thumbs have gone weird! Them pheasants are for his pot. We're in this cottage here. Withnail: Withnail: Here, I dont want it. Danny: You can stuff it up your arse for nothing and fuck off while you're doing it! Add spice to it. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. So we're gonna make one that shits itself as well. We get in there and get wrecked, then we'll eat a pork pie, then we'll drop a couple of Surmontil-50's each. Especially that pimp! We want the finest wines available to humanity. *Bastards*! Wait till the morning, we'll go in together. They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . Withnail: Discover the priceless words that sparkle and shine here. Withnail: He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken]. 'He used to pick on me. Oh, Christ almighty. Marwood: What is all this "tactical necessity" and "calculated risk?!" Uncle Monty: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane.". Im in the same boat. Withnail: Marwood: Headhunter to everybody. I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! Withnail: These are the sort of windows faces look in at! Marwood: Im in a park and Im practically dead. 2023. "I'm gonna pull your head off because I don't like your head.". Have you met Jake? I feel like a pig shat in my head. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny).